Modern Romance

Key West is a pretty interesting place to be single in your 30’s.  I mean, our unofficial island motto is “Key West:  Where The Weird Go Pro”, so you can imagine what it’s like filtering through the potential suitors.  Much like a bowl of granola, lots of nuts and flakes.  The thing about dating in your 30’s is that you’ve already been through all the bullshit so you’ve got a pretty good idea of what you’re looking for and at least for me personally I’m no longer willing to lower my expectations to meet other people’s standards.  Step up to the plate or step outta the way.

My girlfriend Alex recently recommended this book Modern Romance by Aziz Ansari. If you’re navigating the dating world in 2015 this book is a must read and I guarantee you will find it laugh out loud funny.  And if you aren’t personally navigating the world of dating right now but are wondering why your amazingly awesome BFF, daughter, son, cousin, (you get the picture)… still is, this book is for you too!

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Side Note: Amy Schumer you are my spirit animal.

Another thing about dating in your 30’s is that by now hopefully you’ve learned to appreciate the little things.  As Aziz so eloquently says in Modern Romance, “When I’ve really been in love with someone, it’s not because they looked a certain way or liked a certain TV show or certain cuisine.  It’s more because when I watched a certain TV show or ate a certain cuisine with them, it was the most fun thing ever.”  At this stage in the game it’s all about having fun; after all, if it’s not fun while you’re dating imagine how much things will suck if you get married and throw kids into the mix.

 

10 Quotes That Will Make You Want To Read Modern Romance

  1. “Later I check Instagram, and this clown Tanya is posting a photo of some deer  Too busy to write me back, but she has time to post a photo of some deer she saw on a hike?”
  2. “If you were a woman, you had far less time to find a man.  True Love?  This guy has a job and a decent mustache.  Lock it down girl.”
  3. “That said, can you imagine how insane that must have been to get the first text of all time?  When no one knew what a text was?  It would have been like “WHY ARE THERE WORD ON MY PHONE??? PHONES ARE FOR NUMBERS!!”
  4. “So based on [this] data, the answers are clear:  If you are a woman, take a high-angle selfie, with cleavage, while you’re underwater near some buried treasure.”
  5. “Nobody joins Tinder because they’re looking for something,” Rad told Time.  They join because they want to have fun.” And because his name is Sean Rad, he probably said that quote to Time and then tossed on a pair of cool shades, hopped on a skateboard, and blazed on outta there.”
  6. “Quick die note:  In numerous interviews Mateen is identified as someone with a background in party planning, which is a ridiculous resume item.  “Are you fit for the position?” “Yes, I have a strong background in party planning, I promise you, I can get this party started””
  7. “A few decades ago, if I wanted to research vanilla ice cream, what would I have even done?  Cold-approach chubby guys and then slowly steer the convo toward ice cream to get their take?  No, thanks.  Nowadays the Internet is my chubby friend.  It’s the whole world’s chubby friend.”
  8. “Now, I understand that there is a certain kind of “car guy” out there who would find my choice of gasoline as horrifying as I find the choice of suboptimal tacos.  To that I say:  Stop caring so much about gasoline, you ding-dong!  Spend that money on good tacos like a nice, normal person.”
  9. “Most strange to me is that, whereas “Mrs. Pouterson” is a horrible nickname for a vagina, “Warren G. Harding” is actually a great nickname for a penis.”
  10. “This is my favorite.  I just love the idea of the guy opening up his phone, seeing the boobs, and thinking, “Ahhhh. Okay, you got this Phil!  Let’s nail this PowerPoint presentation.””

Times have changed.  Never before have single people had so many options literally in their back pocket.  Technology has changed the dating game; specifically smart phones and the internet.  Aziz said it best, “the world is available to us, but that may be the problem.”  For me technology, reduces three-dimensional people to two-dimensional displays of information.  I don’t want to converse via text message or swipe right, I want to enjoy conversation and show off my sick dance moves.  Cheers!

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